


Call of the deep

by Owari26



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Loch Ness Monster, M/M, Possible monsterfucking, Tragic Romance, mercreature Shiro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:15:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22053886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owari26/pseuds/Owari26
Summary: Fascinated by the lake and unable to resist its call, Ichigo sneaks out of the house to go to the lake. Beneath the surface, a dangerous creature awaits him.
Relationships: Hollow Ichigo/Kurosaki Ichigo
Comments: 37
Kudos: 105





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A very happy Christmas to my Secret Santa partner Jumi, I hope you like it.
> 
> This is going to be a chaptered fic (because I procrastinated too long...)
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated.

The sun hung low in the sky, not quite ready yet to give up its reign over the deep blue sky. A little boy stood watching where rays of molten gold touched the earth. His hair matched the ferocity of the sun; hues of deep orange, warm and bright. Birds sang and the air bustled with the sounds of crickets singing their tune in the swaying grass. 

The boy’s eyes drifted towards the deep dark waters, now colored a brilliant pink. In the distance, the sun sank lower, blending more hues of dark red into the cool water. 

The boy walked up to the edge of the lake and sat down to remove his little black boots. The little boy sniffled softly, unsure what to do. 

The boy, reckless and wild, if one would believe the whispers from the other villagers that circled the small town, was a child with a deep fascination for the loch. Cursed, they would say, with his unnatural hair and foreign name. Weird, just like his late mother, they said. 

His father had tried to keep him safe, protecting him from the dangers of the outside world by keeping him inside. As a result, Ichigo was a bit scrawny for his age. Small and pale of skin, it painted a striking contrast with his bright hair. It had been 3 years since his mother died and his old man had tried to protect him all that time. Instilled by a love for adventure and the wilderness, Ichigo had rebelled his father’s decision from day one. His old man, a well-respected blacksmith by the rest of the village, didn’t understand the boy’s need to explore. 

Ichigo loved the lake with an unmatched passion, it called out to him with a strange sense of longing. Earlier that evening, Ichigo had slipped from under his dad’s watchful eye, hurrying from his home towards the still water. 

The boy stood still at the edge of the lake now, where the water lapped against the mossy shore. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he peered out towards the dark water. 

A breeze of wind ran over the rippled surface, blowing Ichigo’s bangs from his eyes and bringing a speck of color to his usual pale cheeks. Gasping, Ichigo stared down at the surface, the last rays of the sun turning the otherwise deep green water into a raging lake of fire. Ichigo watched the light swirl onto the water, mesmerized, as if the movement controlled his thoughts. 

The boy stepped closer to the edge of the lake, breathing in the scent of everything that surrounded him. The green moss felt spongy and damp between his feet and if he moved it tickled pleasantly between his toes. 

Ichigo’s brown eyes widened, fascinated by the way the water lapped up against his feet. Despite the relentless rays of the sun, the water was surprisingly cool. The little boy bent down, stretching his hand out as far as he could. He could almost touch the water, just a little bit further, _just a bit._

Next thing he knew, Ichigo was falling, the water rushing up to welcome him in its dark embrace. The murky water closed in around him, filling him with a deep dread. His little arms and legs kicked out desperately but he just wasn’t strong enough. The dark water he loved so much now swirled around him, trapping him and keeping him down. Ichigo tried to open his mouth to breathe but only managed to swallow a gulp of dirty water. The boy’s arms and legs stopped moving and black spots danced into his vision as he slowly sank to the bottom. The last thing he saw before his mind went completely black was a brilliant streak of white and a pair of golden eyes. 

*** 

Deep under the water, in a world so different from ours, a pale creature lay resting on the sandy bottom. Unlike most of the things in the lake, this creature was old, like it came from an ancient lost civilization. He breathed deep and slow, the gills along his throat fluttering softly. With every exhale, a small spurt of bubbles rose to the surface. 

Hauntingly yellow eyes suddenly flashed in the dark, slowly the creature began to uncurl itself. Something had dared to disturb his sleep. The creature snarled his dislike as he swam up with a lazy stretch of his long tail. 

Since he took residence in this gloomy lake, decades ago, nothing had dared to disturb the creature. He was an apex predator and here in this lake there wasn’t anything remotely big enough to pose a treat. Even the large sea sturgeons that occasionally crossed through these waters had learned to avoid him. 

His presence alone was enough to demand respect, so when something dared to invade his territory like that, Shiro wasn’t pleased. Hissing snarls shifted to a watery growl as he closed in on the foreign creature in his waters. 

When he got close to the creature, he noticed it had stopped trashing. Shiro blinked slowly. He recognized these things...Humans they were called. Shiro curled his lip in disgust, his last encounter with those two-legged beings hadn’t exactly been a good one. Memories of glistening steel and burning torches flashed up in his mind, then sorrow and pain filled his heart. He tried to shake it off, those were memories of things long gone. 

He flashed his sharp fangs at the little weird human. Something about it was just different. Shiro couldn’t remember ever seeing such a bright colored one, rather pale too but then again, he hadn’t seen humans up close in ages. His powerful tail curled around the fragile human, ready to kill it with one strike of his black claws but something made him stop. 

Big brown eyes flashed in the muddy dark of deep water, they were wide with a mix of curiosity and wonder as a little hand gently reached out to touch the pearlescent scales on Shiro’s tail. Then, the small body of the boy went rigid between the coils of his tail, making Shiro do something he would probably regret later. 

As he propelled himself up through the water with his muscled tail, Shiro curled his arms protectively around the boy. When he finally breached the surface, the boy wasn’t moving anymore. He hurried through the water, one arm at his side to keep him somewhat streamlined and his other tightly gripping the little human. With his powerful finned tail, it only took him a few counts to get into more shallow water. 

Wiggling and slithering himself up onto the muddy bank, he carefully laid down the boy onto the ground. Once there, he pushed the rest of his lower body up onto dry land, his gills gaping angrily from the shock of being exposed to the open air. While he could breathe air and could actually leave the water for a while, he hadn’t done it in years. The lack of practice led him to awkwardly gasp in a gulp of breath every time his gills opened. 

With a weird sense of dread in his chest, Shiro began poking the little boy to get him to open his eyes. Despite his attempts to waken him, the small human remained eerily still. He knew humans couldn’t breathe underwater so he turned the boy on his side, hoping that would help with breathing. 

Unfortunately, despite his efforts the boy still didn’t respond. The water creature only had one thing left he could try. Shiro moved carefully, settling himself higher so his lower end rested besides the boy. He let his long, powerful tail coil slowly around the small body, the tip of his finned tail resting on the boy’s chest. 

Looking back down once more to the small figure held between the coils of his tail, he gently ran a hand through the boy’s weird colored hair. Streaks of cyan pulsed and flashed along the length of his tail, making the air around them crackle with energy. 

When his attention jumped back to his tail, he watched as swirling bolts of deep blue danced and swarmed over his pale skin, making the protective moist layer of his skin shimmer almost iridescent. 

Electricity lit the dark night like it could rival the sun. With expectation in his heart, Shiro turned his attention to the boy again. His sharp yellow eyes roamed over the soft face of the boy, searching for something, anything that could be a faint sign of life. 

Nothing. 

Huffing out an annoying sound, he tried again. He didn’t even know why he cared but something in the boy’s eyes had called to him the moment their eyes met. 

Streaks of blue once more danced along the length of his body and crackled over and into the little human. With a jerk, the boy heaved up water. He breathed in weak, desperate gasps of air to get the much-needed oxygen into his lungs. From his mouth came a cry so raw that even Shiro flinched for a moment. Shivers ran down the boy’s spine and he began to sob hysterically, his small form shaking violently between the coils of Shiro’s tail. 

Shiro looked upon the small human before him, torn between just leaving the boy there or trying to do something. Before he could think, he reached up and very gently traced his webbed fingers against the boy’s face as if trying to reassure him. 

Taken aback by the sudden cool touch, the boy stopped sobbing and looked up to the strange creature, his brown eyes gazing wide. 

Grunting, Shiro smiled and flashed a mouth full of razor-sharp pointy teeth. He watched the boy’s surprised look, fully expecting the boy to start screaming again. He was used to being feared, to being chased. Humans all saw him as a murderous creature, something to be shunned and feared, like a monster from ancient tales. So, when the boy merely watched in awe, it took Shiro by surprise. 

A little hand shot up to his face and the boy carefully traced his fingertips along the gills of the sea creature, his eyes alit with a spark of joy. 

Startled by the sudden contact, Shiro released the boy and half slithered, half dragged his bulky form back to the water. In one graceful move, he dove below the surface and back to his own world again. 

Later that night, just before the sun began to rise again and the water was still pleasantly cool, Shiro wondered if he’d done the right thing. Maybe it had been better if he’d just let the human drown, but he couldn’t help the relief he felt knowing the boy was still alive. 

Over the next days, Shiro broke the surface to look up onto the banks, his sharp eyes scanning the horizon for something orange but no matter how many times he came to look, he couldn’t find those warm brown eyes again. 

Even though he knew the boy probably didn’t care much about some weird sea monster, Shiro couldn’t help but feel something aching to disappointment. There was a certain innocence to the boy’s face and it fascinated him to no end. 

Eventually, Shiro gave up on his search and retreated back to the safety of deeper water. 

*** 

By early morning, the fishermen from the village, out for their daily catch of fresh food supply had found the boy by the edge of the lake. In all the time the fishermen were carrying the young boy back towards the village, they never stopped talking about the weird wound on the boy’s chest. 

“Struck by lightning!” One said as if he knew no other explanation. 

“There wasn’t a storm last night.” Another said. “It wasn’t even cloudy.” 

“What else could it be?” Yet another said. “Only lightning makes that kind of fractal wounds.” 

When nobody else could give any explanation, they all silently agreed on some kind of freak accident by nature. 

The injured boy was carried back to the house of his father, drifting in and out of consciousness as he mumbled things about yellow eyes and white skin chasing the dark away. 

His father, who wasn’t even aware that Ichigo had sneaked out of the house after bedtime, called for the doctor of the village. 

Ichigo woke up several hours later when the sun was already past its highest point of the day. The boy was ordered to stay in bed for a few more days but besides the angry red pattern on his chest, the doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with him. 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine Mr. Kurosaki.” The doctor practically sang in his usual amused voice. “Give him a few days rest and make sure he stays warm.” 

“Thanks for coming on such short notice.” Isshin said. He took the doctor’s hand and shook it politely. “Trust me, Ichigo is not going anywhere for at least a few weeks.” He laughed, his deep baritone voice rumbling through the air. 

“Aah yes, I believe that would be a correct punishment for sneaking out from the house.” Dr. Kisuke smiled. “I’ll come back to check how he’s doing in a few days.” He nodded briefly before saying goodbye to his old friend. 

The next morning, as the sun rose high in the sky and bathed the lake in a silvery glow, Ichigo was back up again and eager to return to the lake. 

“Young man!” His father rumbled in a deep rough voice, like thunder growling against the dark sky. “Where do you think you’re going?” 

Ichigo stopped mid-step, shocked by his father’s presence so close behind him. 

“N-nowhere.” Ichigo mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. 

Isshin closed the door behind him and crossed his broad arms. “Son, I know when you’re lying. Please tell me the truth.” He grabbed a hold of his son and threw him over his shoulder with ease. 

“Daaaad, put me down!” Ichigo squealed as he tried to wiggle free from his father’s beartrap hug. 

“Not until you tell me where you want to go.” Isshin laughed, poking and tickling his son all the way back to his bedroom. 

“Put me down! Ichigo screamed. “I’m already 8, I’m too big to be hugged.” He complained, but he couldn’t hide the excitement in his voice. 

Isshin ignored his son’s desperate pleas and continued stomping his way to his son’s room. Once there, he finally threw him down on the bed in one fluid move. 

Isshin took place next to his son, his goofy smile melting away into a serious look. “Now, where did you think you were going? 

Ichigo nodded slightly and started talking, his hands folded in his lap. “I need to thank him, dad, he saved me from the water.” Ichigo finally drawled out. 

Isshin’s warm brown eyes locked onto his son’s. Rumors had spread in the village about some freak lightning incident but nothing about the lake itself. 

“Ichi.” Isshin spoke calmly, grabbing his son gently by the shoulders in a comforting embrace. “I need you to tell me what happened.” 

And so, Ichigo started talking about how he was drawn to the lake until he’d slipped into the water and how something with yellow eyes and pale skin had saved him. 

The next days, Isshin wondered about his son’s story, but no matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t really explain the pale thing his son had seen. Soon, it was all but forgotten and what was left was a tale spun from a child’s imagination. 

Despite his father’s best efforts to keep his son close to the house, Ichigo kept finding ways to get past his dad’s watchful eye. By the time he neared his ninth birthday, his father had simply given up on trying to keep him somewhat safe. 

As time went on, Ichigo kept being drawn to that lake. His warm brown eyes staring out at the deep, cool water. Something about it called to him. At night, he would dream of sharp yellow eyes, of pale skin and a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. He knew what he had seen. His father didn’t believe his story but Ichigo just _knew._ Day after day, he would spend his free time at the edge of the water, watching how the sun dipped below the horizon just like on that faithful night. Ichigo stared out for any breach of the surface but when the lake stayed eerily calm, he would turn back again to his house and dream of mythical sea creatures. 

Often, Isshin would find his son at the edge of the lake, with his eyes glued to the surface. At first, he’d tried to convince his son it had all been a fantasy of his oxygen-deprived mind, a normal fish twisted by a mere hallucination but after a while, he had given up. Now he hoped this was all just some weird faze and he would probably grow out of it soon enough. 

On occasion, he would even join his son, and together they would watch the mirrorlike surface. 

Isshin stopped just beside his son, looking down on his unruly orange hair. He swallowed his bitter words and waited for Ichigo to talk, but Ichigo simply continued to stare out before him. 

“Son?” He tried; his words gentle despite the worries he held in his heart. Masaki, Ichigo’s mother had too been entranced by nature and her sense of adventure had ultimately led to her death. 

Finally, after a short silence, Ichigo acknowledged him. “Dad.” He replied with a gentle smile on his face. 

“What do you keep looking for?” Isshin asked, hiding the worries he felt so his voice wouldn’t sound too accusing. “I-I uhm, I’m worried why you keep coming out here despite there isn’t-” He cut off those last words, afraid he would push his son away even more. 

Ichigo just shrugged and turned his attention back to the lake. “I know what I saw dad, but you wouldn’t believe me.” 

And so, it went every day for weeks and even months. The kid with orange hair almost as bright as the sun would come out to stare at the water. He’d promised his dad he wouldn’t go into the water and in return, he was allowed to go sit there as long as he wanted. When it rained, he would go out briefly and stand under the protective cover of the trees, until cold rain soaked his small form and he had to go back inside. 

Even as he was busy doing his chores, his eyes would always stray towards the lake. He knew he wasn’t crazy; something had saved him that night, and Ichigo was desperate to meet it again. 

One particular evening, as Ichigo was about to give up and return back home, a faint ripple caught his attention. Ichigo scrambled towards the edge of the lake, his eyes scanning the surface for something familiar. 

A white streak in the silvery-blue water made him hold his breath. Around him, the noise of birds and crickets seemed to fall away, as if nature too held its breath. Ichigo just stared for what seemed like a long time, until a pale form rose from the water. 

Deep brown eyes locked with piercing yellow in a sea of darkness. The creature froze and stared back for a moment until it realized it had been seen. 

They stared for a moment longer, before the creature disappeared below the surface and the water resembled a dark watery mirror again. 

“Wait!” Ichigo called out, his hand stretched in a reaching motion. He stayed until the night was already half over and light began to creep in along the edges of the horizon but the water remained eerily still. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still fascinated by the lake as he grows up, Ichigo learns that his mother knew of the existence of the creature.  
> One day, he decides to take action and go search for his creature, in the worst possible way of course.

After disappearing back beneath the surface, Shiro had dived straight to the deeper part of the lake, where he could hide from view should the human decide to swim after him. He couldn’t believe this, he’d let something, _someone_ see him. He should’ve been more careful. Shiro snarled and sneered his anger as he swam towards an underwater crevice. As he swam, his powerful tail pushing him forwards with ease through the murky water, Shiro let electricity crackle along the ridge of his dorsal fin. Within seconds, vibrant blue sparks jumped along his tail, lighting up the dark water in cold hues of cyan. With eyes sharp enough to see in near black waters, he didn’t need the light to guide his way, but it served as a warning to keep potential threats at bay. 

Once he’d calmed down enough and was sure he wasn’t followed, Shiro crept back out of his den with a slow wave of his tail and curled himself up just before the entrance. He stayed there as he looked back up to the surface, wondering why those eyes seemed so familiar. 

As the days went by, Shiro went on with his usual business and the boy seemed to be forgotten. It wasn’t unusual for him to be seen by humans, but he preferred to keep himself hidden. He’d inspired many myths and legends throughout his life and his trek around the world in his younger days before he’d finally decided to settle down for a while in these remote highlands. 

But at night, when he retreated back to the safety of his underwater den, those deep brown eyes haunted his subconscious and he would dream of untold tales. 

As months went by, even years, Ichigo’s fascination towards the lake only grew bigger. Eyes as deep and warm as the earth itself roamed over the surface with a strange fascination. Nature had always called to him; the smell of the mist coming up from over the mountains at dawn of day, the sight of the tall wet grass glistening as the first rays of the sun hit the morning dew, the sound of birds singing their cheerful tunes. It all called to him in a way he couldn’t even explain. It used to be his mother’s call too, he knew that he remembered it from when he was younger. His mother, blessed with a smile that could even melt the coldest heart, had taught him that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

He loved one memory in particular. He remembered it well, it was on a Friday evening, just like any other day up until his mother had woken him up in the middle of the night and asked Ichigo if he trusted her. Ichigo, as curious as he was, had put on his coat and boots and ran right after her without a second thought. Her footsteps made no noise as she stepped outside in a sea of darkness, followed by the soft crunch of little boots on wet grass. He’d wondered about it for many years; how did she move with such grace? Every time he asked his dad about it; he would turn his head to the horizon and say with a soft breath: she belongs to the world itself. 

Smiling gently, as only a mother could do, she took his hand and led him towards the bay, where Ichigo’s eyes grew wide with wonder. She said nothing, not even when Ichigo asked her why they were outside. She simply sat down, her legs folding underneath her as she motioned Ichigo to sit beside her. There she stayed, gazing up at the sky until Ichigo eventually followed her gaze. 

“There’s light even when the world seems dark and unforgiving.” His mother began. “But you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light.” She said, her voice barely a whisper in the soft breeze. Ichigo sat down next to her, his legs crossed under him and his eyes bound to the brilliant stars above. Ichigo stared in awe, mesmerized by the countless specks of light in a vast velvet blanket. 

As he grew up without her, Ichigo often thought about her words but he never understood the meaning behind them. Even now, sitting at the edge of the lake as he watched the crescent moon reflect into the dark of the water, he still felt as if he was missing something important. His eyes fell towards the ground before him and he swallowed harshly. Even after all these years, the pain of her absence felt raw. His father told him the pain would dull over time, and he would learn to accept it, but Ichigo just couldn’t. Her spirit lingered everywhere he went, in all the things they both loved, in the nature surrounding him. While he sat in silence, it only made the pain even worse. He missed her so much. She would have known what to do, she would’ve believed him. Left with nothing but the ache, Ichigo wiped away a tear. Now he was alone, looking for a creature that no one believed to be real, his only clue the strange scar on his chest. Sometimes it ached like a ghostly echo of the creature in the deep. 

As the boy grew, so did the whispers from the other villagers. Some said it was because of the lightning strike that hit him as a kid, others said he was just a lost boy missing his mother. Still, others claimed it was something far worse. Cursed by a water spirit, his soul claimed by the lake, they would say. They were a small village, hidden deep in the highlands, with firm roots in superstitious beliefs. Ichigo didn’t bother anyone so they left him alone, but as his fascination only grew, so did the fear that he would eventually bring harm to the peaceful village. 

Nearing his sixteenth birthday, Ichigo still hadn’t managed to find his mysterious creature. Having read every book that could lead to a clue, be that scientific or even completely fictional, Ichigo was desperate for an answer. Every word, every piece of paper, all led to the same conclusion; mercreatures were a thing of the imagination, myths from days long gone. 

“Son.” His father’s voice was deep, edging on rough. It was the voice of a man who’d known hardship. Despite his old age, his hair was still a dark black, kept neatly swept back. His warm, gentle eyes roamed over the pile of books opened on his son’s desk before they settled onto tired golden-brown eyes. “I know that I’ll never understand all of this,” Isshin said, motioning towards the books and papers all over the wooden desk. “But I want you to have something.” He handed over a small package. “Consider this your birthday present.” 

“Thanks dad, but you didn’t have to get me anything.” Ichigo smiled as he took the package. It was wrapped carefully in brown paper and sealed with a silk red ribbon. 

“It belonged to your mother. She cherished that book almost as much as you.” He wrapped his hand around Ichigo’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “I’m sure she loved that book more than she loved me.” He grinned, reminiscing the past. “I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for,” Isshin spoke softly. 

Ichigo shot forward, not realizing he’d knocked the pile of books over as he wrapped his arms around his father’s bulky form. He swallowed a lump in his throat, never before he’d gotten such acceptance from his dad. It made him feel a little bit less alone and a bit more understood. “Thanks, dad.” He sniffled in the collar of Isshin’s vest before he let go again. 

Isshin stepped back into the living room and left Ichigo alone to unwrap his present. Seeing his son follow into Masaki’s footsteps hurt, but deep down it also filled him with a certain sense of pride. 

With trembling hands, Ichigo carefully pulled the red ribbon loose, freeing the wrapping underneath. In an attempt to protect his son from the same harm, his father had thrown out all of Masaki’s stuff. Witchcraft, he said, ramblings from her twisted mind, he’d shouted in a rage when Ichigo once again dared to ask about her fascination for the unknown. Of all things his father could’ve kept, the fact that he decided to hold on to the one thing he feared meant the world to Ichigo. 

Ichigo stared down at the book. Bound in brown leather and worn with age, the book lay heavy in his hands. The leather felt soft and delicate as he ran his fingers over the cover. Glancing down at the swirling, inlaid script below his fingers, Ichigo read the title; _The book of beasties, a Scottish bestiary of old._

Sighing, Ichigo grit his teeth and mustered the courage to flip the cover. He carefully opened the book, the warm smell of dust and lavender assaulting his senses. He smiled as his eyes scanned the paper, lavender used to be his mother’s favorite scent. An elegant scrawl on the inside of the cover declared that this book indeed once belonged to his mother; Masaki Kurosaki. 

Ichigo thumbed through the pages, quickly scanning the content of the book to find what he was looking for. Words appeared and disappeared as his gaze jumped across pages, yellow with age until his eyes fell on an elaborate illustration; _Heather pixie._ He frowned slightly as he studied the detailed sketch; A petite beautiful creature with slender legs, butterfly wings and hair glowing a golden gleam adorned the page. It reminded him of his mother somehow, it had that same natural grace she used to have, yet it seemed far creepier and more disturbing. 

After studying the handwritten notes, Ichigo continued to flip through the rest of the book, searching for something he couldn’t even describe. 

Frowning, Ichigo turned a page only to find the next one blank. So caught up in the texts, Ichigo hadn’t even realized he’d reached the end already. As he studied the blank page for a moment, he wondered why there were still more pages. Maybe this was like an inventory, meant to write down new creatures. As he pondered about it for a while, curious what more could be hidden out there, a slight gush of wind whirled through the room. Ichigo paused, looking up to see where the cold draft came from. When another rush of cold air swirled through the room, he put the book back on his desk, wondering if he’d left the window open. 

Standing up from his chair, he made his way to the window only to notice it was shut. Frowning, he looked up and around the room to see where the wind could come from. Shrugging it off again when he couldn’t see any open windows or doors, he made his way back to his desk. 

Another gush of wind blew from inside his room, making Ichigo gasp in surprise. The wind curled around him, almost warm, a soft breeze drifting through the air. Slightly confused and with a bit of unease creeping up his spine, Ichigo continued to walk towards his desk. 

As if on cue, a strong gush of wind whirled around his desk, whipping the scattered papers into a vortex around him. Ichigo gasped, his eyes scanning the corners of his room. Something just didn’t settle quite right. Cautiously, he made his way back towards the door, trying to get away from whatever the hell was playing tricks here. A sudden fear coursed through his veins, maybe he’d accidentally summoned something from that book. 

And then all fell silent and Ichigo stood there in shock, his body frozen and his eyes wide as a pair of familiar yellow eyes stared at him from the book. Eyes widening even further, Ichigo carefully edged closer to his desk as he kept his gaze on the strange book. 

Ichigo picked up the book, ignoring the chill running along his spine when his fingers brushed the yellowed pages. A pair of blazing eyes adorned the page like they were burning right through the paper. The whites were an inverted black darker than the sky on a moonless night, making them even brighter. 

While clearly not human, Ichigo wasn’t so sure what he was staring at. There were no other sketches besides the creature’s eyes. Finally, Ichigo tore his gaze away from those mesmerizing eyes and studied the rest of the page, settling on the curling script below the sketch: Caesg. 

Ichigo frowned, not sure what the foreign word meant. 

What are you? He silently questioned himself. Ichigo stared for a moment longer, studying the inked sketch once more before he slowly closed the book. The moment the cover fell close with much more force than it should have, a faint breeze whirled through the room again. 

Ichigo shook his head, wondering if he was starting to see things from all the hours he spent reading about the unknown or if there was really something else going on. 

A little disorientated and with an idea whispering in the back of mind, Ichigo began pacing around the room. All stayed quiet for the rest of the day but he couldn’t shake the eerie feeling, like something was watching him from the shadows. 

As the night approached, Ichigo inevitably found himself along the banks of the lake, staring out at the deep, dark water again. He turned his gaze towards the edge of the water, his mother’s book clutched firmly in his arms. 

Finally, body racing with adrenaline, Ichigo straightened and hurried towards the pebbled shore further ahead. Earlier that day, he’d gone up to the old wooden dock and tied a boat to the anchor point. 

Slowly, Ichigo untied the thick rope from its anchor point, the weathered wood groaning and creaking in protest as Ichigo stepped carefully on the dock. The wood was slippery beneath his feet but his steps were determined. Once a well-known spot for the town’s fishermen, the dock now was nothing more than an abandoned memory from the old days. 

Ichigo paused for a few moments, taking the time to wrap his book into a layer of leather to keep it from getting damaged by splashing water. He stashed it away underneath the bench on the other side of the boat, hoping that would be enough to keep it somewhat safe. 

Breathing beginning to pick up with excitement, Ichigo lowered himself into the boat and watched how it steadily bobbed up and down with the waves of the water. He ran his fingers over the flaked paint, taking in all the imperfections of the wood. The boat was an old-timer, left over from when his father used to be a child. Yet, it was still sound and seaworthy enough to take on the cold waters of the lake. 

Pushing himself off from the dock, Ichigo rowed out towards the deeper part of the lake, his paddles hardly making a splash every time they entered the water. 

As the waning moon rose, it shone intimidatingly on the dark water beneath him, like the all-seeing eye of an ancient creature watching his movements in an eerie silence. Ichigo frowned and looked down into the water, expecting something to happen. When nothing moved or stared at him from beneath the surface, he leaned back again, an odd feeling of disappointment washing over him. 

Doubt began to creep in along the edges of his mind, maybe he should've thought more about it instead of recklessly rowing in a lake in the dark. 

Almost as if hearing his thoughts, a soft gush of wind whirled around him from the right and he spun his head around, brown eyes wide as they scanned the dark surface. 

As he looked out across the water, leaning from the boat and hoping he would find a clue on his mysterious creature, he almost missed the faint ripple waving across the water. 

From the corner of his eyes, something caught his attention. Letting out a breath, he scrambled towards the other edge of the boat. Ichigo hung over the edge of his boat for a few long moments, his eyes scanning the water frantically, almost desperate. Then his gaze landed on something glowing below the surface. A streak of white passed underneath him, it shimmered almost pearlescent below the moonlit surface and Ichigo just _knew._

He’d found his creature; he just knew it. Without a second thought, Ichigo shrugged out of his coat, planting his right foot on the edge of the boat and pushed off, diving straight into the frigid, dark water. 

Below the surface, the world was even darker than above, the water a deep hue of murky green. It was eerily silent below the water’s surface, the wild beating of his heart the only sound he heard echoing in his ears. 

Ichigo swam deeper, his eyes frantically searching the dark water for the creature that lurked out there. A voice in his mind screamed to go back before it was too late but Ichigo ignored it. He was tired of searching all these years for something unknown, he couldn’t return without seeing it at least once. He wasn’t crazy like everyone else said he was, he knew what he’d seen. 

As he searched the water, his legs already feeling numb from the cold, his gaze caught a blue glow from further away. His lungs already starting to burn, Ichigo turned towards the strange light, his movements slow by the fatigue settling in. 

Agitated by whatever creature dared to invade his waters, Shiro darted through the water, determined to swiftly take care of the bold intruder. But as he got closer, he realized it was one of those weird humans again. Maybe he’d fallen overboard. Shiro snarled his warning, letting blue sparks crackle along the length of his tail. His sharp sight, better than that of most creatures, allowed Shiro to see even in waters nearly devoid of light. As he swam closer, he watched the human’s face twist into surprise. 

Even though he knew the human wouldn’t stand a chance against his sharp claws, he still kept his guard. Golden eyes locked onto the form before him but by the way, the human’s eyes frantically scanned the water, Shiro was sure he couldn’t quite see him yet. 

Ichigo’s eyed widened as the blue glow closed in on him. Legs stinging like needles from the cold biting his skin, he reached out for the eerie glow, his arm moving sluggishly through the water. Ichigo caught a glimpse of a smooth long tail, of skin that shone as bright as the moon and something that sparked and burned a deep vibrant cyan. Whatever it was, it was long and dangerous and definitely the creature he was looking for. 

Already needing air, Ichigo strained to stay underwater any longer and tried to fight the urge to breathe. Something thick but somehow fluttery like seaweed brushed against his arm, startling him with the sudden closeness. 

Then it was up in his face, snarling. Fierce, golden eyes glared at him, framed by a void of obsidian, just like in his book. 

Lungs burning and specks of black clouding his vision, Ichigo did the only thing he could think of. Finally, their gazes met, just as Ichigo lifted his shirt to reveal the dark scars on his chest. 

Slowing his movements, Shiro let his gaze wander across the human’s body, then his head whipped up towards wild, fiery hair as recognition settled in. With careful motions, he traced a clawed finger along the scar on his chest. He did this...long ago. This was the same human, the little boy from all those years ago. Shiro couldn’t believe it. 

The boy gasped, bubbles of air rising around them. Shiro blinked, confused for a moment until he remembered humans couldn’t breathe underwater as he could. He grabbed hold of the unconscious boy and swam up to the surface with a few powerful sways of his tail. Shiro hoped he wouldn’t have to shock him; he wasn’t sure if the boy would survive such a thing again. 

When he finally breached the surface of the lake, Shiro coughed as the air hit his lungs, the gills on his throat gaping angrily. No matter how many times he’d come up, he never got used to breathing just air. Turning on his side, he held the boy close, one arm wrapped around him so he could use the other and his tail to wiggle and push himself up onto the shore. 

Everything about this was just so strangely familiar, but the boy wasn’t a child anymore. Shiro settled himself beside him, just like all those years ago, his tail wrapped over the body of the boy. Finally, the human coughed and gurgled out water as he struggled to get some much-needed oxygen into his lungs. Shiro grunted, trying to encourage the boy to get up. Cold, webbed hands settled onto freezing skin, a sigh of relief washing over him as the boy pried his eyes open to stare up into his own. 

“Hey.” The boy groaned out. 

“I finally found you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo meets his new friend again.

He paused, holding his breath for a response from the creature. Ichigo didn’t even know what reaction he was expecting, and he almost felt silly for hoping for an acknowledgment. Seconds ticked by in silence before the creature slowly crawled back from where it had been sitting. 

“No, wait...” Ichigo quietly whispered to the creature. 

Halting his retreat, the creature whipped his head up, his haunting yellow eyes landing on Ichigo. They stared at each other for a few moments before Ichigo dared to speak up again. “I just... I mean, I want to... Ichigo mumbled, still watching the creature. 

Not knowing what to say or if the creature could even understand him, Ichigo tried to move closer so he could get a better look at the creature that had saved him all those years ago. 

Underwater, the creature- some kind of merman Ichigo thought, although such things weren’t supposed to exist, seemed to be swift and dangerous. In the water on that dreadful day, he’d been all teeth and snarling in a flash of blue, but something in those deep dark eyes seemed to be intelligent, understanding even. 

The mercreature watched as the human crept closer and when the boy reached a hand out, fingertips ghosting over pale skin, he snarled his dislike but didn’t immediately go back to the water. 

Ichigo froze, lowering his hand back down. That was an obvious warning and he wasn’t too keen on pushing his luck any further. A slight shiver crept up along his spine; those long, pointed teeth he’d been shown briefly were definitely capable of tearing him into shreds. Instead of trying to make actual contact, he continued to watch the creature for a few moments more. 

He looked so damn human, at least from what Ichigo could see under the moonlight. Long white hair clung wetly to broad shoulders, framing a far too human-looking face. The creature tilted his head, staring with a certain cautious curiosity in its eyes. The mercreature’s eyes were a piercing yellow while the sclera was a deep black, painting a stark contrast with the paleness of its skin. Along his throat, slitted gills opened and closed angrily with every uneven swell of the creature’s chest. Ichigo noticed he probably wasn’t used to being out of the water and he wondered if the creature was even capable of being on land in the first place. A part of him felt guilty for forcing the mercreature out of its watery environment just to save him again. 

After the silence had become thick and Ichigo began to feel uncomfortable under the creature’s unblinking stare, he cleared his throat, hesitant to speak but he tried it anyway. “Can you even understand me?” 

At the sound of his voice, a sound Shiro decided he found quite intriguing, he blinked once, the translucent membrane of his third eyelid moistening his eyes. Then he nodded, his movement subtle but he was sure the boy would pick up on it. 

Ichigo watched him, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth when he realized the creature understood what he said. “Uhm...I just want to thank you” Ichigo said, still watching the creature. “You know, for saving me when I fell into the water.” 

Before him, the creature huffed out a watery snort and Ichigo swore he’d saw him roll his eyes, then he raised himself up higher and crossed his arms. 

“Okay, fine.” Ichigo grinned. “I was an idiot, I jumped into it myself because I wanted to see you.” 

A wide toothy grin spread across the creature’s face; the expression full of malicious joy. Shiro glanced around to see if they were still alone and when he was sure nobody else was around, he hauled himself further up on the shore and settled himself just out of arms reach from the boy, his tail curling around him. 

Ichigo continued to stare at the awkward way the creature dragged himself around, clearly not built for land. Then he watched in awe as more of its tail became visible. He’d seen it swiftly before but now, under the soft light of the moon, it looked like something otherworldly. Cyan pulsed back and forth following the center ridge of the creature’s body up until the base of its fluttery finned tail tip as powerful muscles rippled under its skin. From above the surface, what appeared to be pale skin was actually shimmering silvery skin, covered in specks of brilliant blue and yellow. 

Ichigo winced, the scar on his chest aching slightly as he realized what that pulsing light actually was. “You used that to save me all those years ago.” He pointed at the lower part of the creature’s tail. 

Shiro nodded again, recalling the memory of that night. He hadn’t even realized the boy had remembered what happened. When the boy didn’t say more, he glanced back towards the lake, growing uncomfortable from being out of his watery environment. His tail swished out around him, feeling sticky and heavy from being on land for too long. 

“Oh... you have to go back, don’t you?” Ichigo said, his eyes following the creature’s gaze. The creature grunted an affirmative sound and stretched his massive tail out as he started to wiggle and slither back towards the water. 

Ichigo stood up from his sitting position and walked up to the edge of the lake as he watched the mercreature push himself backward and into the water, disappearing below the surface. 

After the creature was gone, Ichigo couldn’t help but look out over the lake again. He peered down into the almost black water. After a few seconds, as he was about to turn back to his house, a squirt of water sprayed up into his face. 

“Oi you cheeky bastard.” Ichigo laughed, wiping the water from his face with the sleeve of his vest. 

The creature broke the surface again, a high pitched shrieky sound escaping his throat. 

“Great.” Ichigo grinned. “My mysterious savior is an asshole.” He crouched down by the edge of the water. “My name is Ichigo by the way.” 

The creature bowed his head slightly in acknowledgment before he dove back down towards his own world. 

Ichigo hadn’t asked but deep down, he knew he hadn’t seen the last of the creature. 

Later that day, as the sun rose high on the horizon, his dad had joked that the book he’d given him must have been very interesting because he looked like he’d been up all-night reading. Ichigo laughed about it with his dad, telling about the pixie drawings and the handwritten notes from his mother but said nothing about his nightly visit to the lake. As the evening fell again, and the sun began to dip below the horizon, Ichigo went outside to the lake once more. 

When he reached the edge of the lake, he was surprised to see that his boat had been pushed up onto the shore. Relieved to find his mother’s book still hidden under the wooden bench, he picked it up and stashed it away in his backpack. Near where he’d met the creature the previous night, he sat down on one of the bigger rocks close to the shoreline. He didn’t know if the creature would show up again, but he figured if he did, he was going to go to the spot they’d met the night before. 

Later that night, after the sun had set below the horizon and the lake was only lit by the pale light of the moon, Shiro swam close to the shore. He wondered if it would be a good idea to show himself to the human again, Ichigo he remembered, or if it would be better to stay away for good. Humans were scared of the unknown, and from experience, he knew they could be dangerous when they felt frightened. Ichigo was different, he felt no fear from the boy and that fascinated him in a way. 

Shiro kept circling through the water with slow, graceful waves of his tail until his curiosity finally got the best of him. When he breached the surface of the lake and looked up to the shore, he saw the boy sitting under a nearby tree. A small smile crept up across his face and he decided it couldn’t hurt to go see his new friend. 

Ichigo, eyes wide as he watched a familiar face rise from the murky water, slowly began to walk up to the shore. Just as he was about to give up for the night, the creature had finally decided to show himself once more. 

Golden eyes shone in the moonlight, dancing like fiery flames in the reflections of the lake’s gentle lull from where the mercreature rose from the water. Like the previous night, he wiggled and slithered his way up onto the shore, so that his upper body and most of his tail was resting on land. As Ichigo watched, that tail fluttered once to fold the fins and then lay them against the ridge along the center. He noticed how awkward the creature was moving around on land and he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be to actually see him move underwater. 

“Hey,” Ichigo mumbled. There was a sigh of relief in his tone despite the fact that he was trying to talk to some kind of mythical sea creature. 

“Guid evenin.” The creature rasped out, mischievous grin still in place. 

Ichigo’s eyes widened at the sound of those watery words. “You...You can...?” 

“Courrrrsse” Shiro answered, the word hissed out by a draw of air from his gills. “Jus’-beeeeen a wwwwhile.” Shiro huffed out an annoyed breath, he’d underestimated how hard it was to speak again after decades of not having to talk. 

Ichigo blinked, still staring at the mercreature like a gaping fish as he tried to process the fact that mercreatures not only existed but apparently, they could talk too. 

“Yer okay?” The creature asked when he realized Ichigo just kept staring at him. 

“Not really, I mean, yeah. I’m talking to a pale mercreature like that is the most ordinary thing in the world.” Ichigo half smiled. 

“Do you have a name? Or do I have to keep calling you the creature of the lake?” Ichigo asked, shifting his weight so he could sit on the shore within reach of the mercreature. 

“A name” The creature mused, wiggling his way a bit further upon the shore. 

The creature’s expression morphed into a sly grin as he pronounced a name that sounded more like a hissed shriek. 

“Uuhm, Ichigo tilted his head in a questioning gesture. He didn’t know how he would even have to pronounce that and he was sure his vocal range wasn’t wide enough to reach such a high-pitched sound. 

The creature chuckled, his golden eyes sparkling with joy as he repeated the sound again. 

“Ya can call me Shiro in tha human tongue” 

Ichigo smiled as he repeated the name he’d been given. “Shiro. That’s a good name.” He was glad he could finally refer to him as something other than the creature of the lake. 

They spent the rest of the evening getting to know each other, sitting on the shore underneath the old tree. All too soon, Shiro had to return to the water once more. Although he could leave the water for short periods of time, he hadn’t done it in ages and he was struggling with it now. Ichigo confessed that he probably should be sleeping anyway and if his father realized he snuck out of the house so much he would be punished. Ichigo climbed to his feet and walked up to the edge of the lake as he watched the mercreature push himself backward and into the water. 

After Shiro entered the water in one graceful move, he couldn’t help but to resurface one more time. He grinned and waved up to his new friend. Ichigo smiled and waved back before they parted ways. 

This time they both knew they hadn’t seen the last of each other. 

The next evening, Ichigo walked up to the shore, carrying his mother’s book and a small oil lamp in his hands. He’d told his father he would take his mother’s book to make sketches and do some plant research for biology class as an excuse to be out of the house. 

Sighing softly, he let his eyes scan the surface of the lake but couldn’t see his new friend yet. Figuring the creature probably preferred to show himself after dusk, Ichigo settled himself between the writhing roots of the old gnarly tree he came to know so well. Casting his eyes up to the canopy, a myriad of greens bathing in the golden gleam of the setting sun, he let his thoughts dwell to an old memory. His mother had dragged Ichigo along with her to one of her favorite places; a patch of higher dry land on the edge of the marshes. As they sat there next to each other underneath an old tree, Ichigo couldn’t help but stare up into a sea of green as light filtered through the canopy, making the world above him sparkle like pixie dust. People had called her crazy, some had even called her an eccentric witch but she’d been the best mom Ichigo could have asked for. 

Realizing the sun had already sunk below the horizon, Ichigo decided to light his oil lamp to push back some of the darkness surrounding him. Staring at the flickering flame of the lamp, Ichigo listened to the gentle lapping of the water against the shore. The sound, soothing to his ears, suddenly got interrupted by a shrill shriek. 

Ichigo turned his gaze away from the flickering light and focused his attention on the lake. As he watched the almost black surface of the lake, a pale figure rose slowly from the water. Webbed fingers dug harshly into the soft soil as the creature dragged his body on land. Snarling and hissing, the creature crept closer, pushing himself forwards with each wave of his tail. The mercreature stopped inches before him, flashing its teeth in a predatory grin as he proceeded to growl a watery sound. 

“Oh no, don’t eat me Mr. mercreature” Ichigo chuckled, throwing his hands up in defense. 

Nostrils flaring slightly, Shiro huffed out an annoying sound. “Tch, didn’ scare ya? 

“No, I’m not feeling it. Ichigo grinned, crossing his arms before his chest. You’re going to have to try harder if you want to eat me. 

Shiro’s features twisted. “Gross...humans hav ta ruin everything. 

Laughing, Ichigo motioned his new friend to come sit next to him. “I thought mercreatures lured innocent humans into the water so they could eat them.” He chuckled. 

“Oi, I’m not a damn Siren.” Shiro scowled as he dragged the rest of his body and tail closer to the light, before curling himself up to sit just outside arm’s reach. As the mercreature unblinkingly stared at him through the flickering light of the flame, Ichigo slowly turned around and pulled his mother’s book from his old backpack. 

He flipped open the cover and quickly thumbed towards the last section of the book. From the corner of his eye, he noticed the curious look that crossed the mercreature’s features. He smiled at the scribble his mother had made then turned the book towards Shiro. He didn’t want to seem rude so he figured showing him the drawing would at least explain why he wanted to ask this. 

“Is this what you are?” Ichigo asked, letting his finger rest just below the scribbled words on the withered page; _Ceasg._

“D’ya really think ‘m a maighdean na tuinne.” Shiro’s laugh was watery yet smooth, like waves gliding over smooth rock. 

Ichigo stared for a moment, just long enough for Shiro to realize he didn’t know what those words meant. 

An amused smirk tugged at Shiro’s features. “Ya think ‘m from tha female persuasion.” 

“Wait, what?” Confused, Ichigo blinked as the mercreature pulled himself closer with another push of his tail until he sat next to the boy. As the mercreature slowly pointed a webbed finger towards the word on the page, Ichigo let his gaze follow. 

“Means Maidn’ of tha waves. Last time I checked I still had a dick.” Shiro remarked casually. 

“Oh.” Ichigo’s face reddened as his gaze wandered down to the rest of the creature’s body, trying to imagine where exactly said dick would be. 

“Yer not gonna find it, it's internal.” The mercreature threw his head back in laughter, his dark eyes sparkling with his joy and Ichigo felt his face heat up with embarrassment. 

“I didn’t need to know that.” Ichigo hissed between his teeth as he felt his face heat up even more. 

Grinning deviously, the mercreature, decided to have some mercy on the boy. 

“Yer drawing?” Shiro asked, intrigued by the sketch as he pointed towards the page. 

“No...” Ichigo shook his head. He let his hand slide over the paper, feeling its roughness press into his fingertips. “It was my mother’s...” 

Shiro didn’t seem to understand. “Did ya tell her ‘bout me?” 

Ichigo hesitated, he didn’t like telling about her, but he started talking anyway. “No, she’s...She passed away when I was little.” He swallowed the lump rising up in his throat before he continued. “My dad gave me her book for my sixteenth birthday and it had this drawing in it. That’s all I know.” 

Shiro tilted his head slightly before he looked the boy up and down and winced at his own stupidity for not realizing it sooner. “Oh, yer tha Pecti-witan's kid.” 

Ichigo frowned at the strange words and looked up from his book, his gaze locking with the mercreature. “What do you mean? Did you know her?” 

“Nah, I didn’t really know yer mother, I only saw her once.” Shiro paused, contemplating if he should tell the kid this or not but part of him felt like he deserved to know. 

“Pecti-witans are part of nature; yer mother was part of it too. Most of the creatures around here know her and respect her.” 

“How did she know of you? Ichigo asked quietly, his eyes pleading to tell him more. 

“T’was on a night like this one. She saw me when I came up for some fresh air.” Shiro chuckled. He shook his head a bit, golden eyes flashing towards Ichigo. “Ya remind me of her. Ya hav’ tha same look on yer face.” 

“What look?” Ichigo asked. 

Shiro hissed an aggressive sound, his lips peeling back to flash pointy teeth. “Like ya don’t fear me.” 

A high-pitched growl rumbling in his throat, Shiro crept closer, his face inches away from Ichigo’s. “And it fascinates me to no end.” 

Ichigo laughed. “Glad to hear at least someone finds me interesting.” 

Shiro snorted and shot Ichigo a curious look. “Yer a weird kid.” 

“Says the perfectly normal lake creature.” Ichigo grinned, looking up into the depth of those black eyes. 

“Ya hav’a point.” He settled himself back down, his long powerful tail curling around him. Then he let his gaze fall on the lake, its dark surface lit up by the star littered sky. 

Ichigo followed the creature’s gaze outwards as a comfortable silence settled between them, nothing but the rhythmic lull of the water against the shore accompanied by the quiet buzz of nature. 

“Ichigo, son; fruit of my loins! Is that you hiding there?” A booming voice rumbled through the darkness. 

Confused, Ichigo whipped his head around and frowned, then realized he couldn't allow his dad to see Shiro. With a curse, he motioned the creature to go back to the lake, back to where he was safe. 

The pale creature seemed to understand and his inhuman gaze caught Ichigo’s before he hurried back to the water. 

Ichigo watched him slip below the surface as he called out to his dad. “Yeah, I’m here dad, just follow the light.” 

A few long seconds later, Isshin emerged from the dark; stumbling into the lit area where Ichigo sat. “Son,” Isshin called out, the worry obvious in his voice as he sat down next to Ichigo on a fallen log. “Do you even know what time it is? I thought you’d never come back, lost for all eternity.” He knew his son was careful enough but still, he was worried sometimes. He couldn’t lose him too. 

Ichigo blinked at the lamp, then looked up to Isshin. “Sorry dad, I lost track of the time.” 

“Hhm.”Isshin mumbled, crossing his legs at the ankle. 

“Did you find something useful?” Isshin asked. 

“What?” Ichigo tilted his head, not sure what his dad was asking. 

Isshin gestured towards the book on Ichigo’s lap. “Did the book give you some answers?” 

“I- I don’t know dad. It’s just...” Ichigo fumbled with the cover of the book, his fingers lingering on the inlaid script before he moved on and flipped it open. 

His stomach twisted as the familiar handwriting came into sight and he let out a sigh. “I really miss her...” 

“I know, son.” 

“Why does everything remind me of her?” He croaked out, his voice wavering more than he wanted to. 

Isshin frowned, not really sure what had brought this on. Rather than giving him a pat on the back and telling him to get over it, he turned and faced him. 

Ichigo turned his head away. He didn’t want to let himself slip; he was over this. He was fine, maybe he was just tired. 

Shit happened. Parents died. It wasn’t the end of the world. 

Leaning forward, his eyes fell on the swirling letters on the inside of the cover; _Masaki Kurosaki,_ and something inside of him just broke. “Why the hell am I not over this?” He felt the firm hand of Isshin grip his shoulder through a thick layer of fabric. His eyes felt like grains of sand scraping around on the inside. His throat aching from the effort to keep it all in. “It’s been _years._ I thought it would fade away as I grew up but everything reminds me of her. I look into the mirror in the morning and all I can see is her warm brown eyes, and when I close my eyes all I see is her smile haunting me in the dark. 

He clenched his teeth, trying to push it all back down again. He needed to move on, he couldn’t keep thinking about this every time. 

“Do you remember that time she took us all to the marshlands?” Isshin spoke softly, his hand tightening around Ichigo’s shoulders. 

Ichigo just nodded, trying to swallow the lump rising in his throat. 

“And someone slipped”, Isshin continued. He sounded like his voice was made of gravel, his usual clear tone bearing a certain heaviness. “making us all fall down in a puddle of mud and tangled limbs.” 

Ichigo’s voice cracked in his throat. “I remember that.” 

Isshin pulled him closer without warning. “I even had mud in my underwear.” He grinned into his ear. 

“I had mud in my ears.” Ichigo blurted out in a laugh, tasting the faint saltiness of his own grief. 

“I miss her every day,” Isshin said, squeezing his son just a little tighter. “But she wouldn’t want me to mourn her, so I try to hold on to the good memories.” 

Isshin pulled him up as he got to his feet. “Let’s go home, son.” 

“Yeah.” Ichigo agreed. The ache in his chest was still there and he felt completely exhausted, but still, as he stuffed his mother’s book into his backpack, something felt a little lighter. Maybe he could learn to hold on to the good things instead of the sad, after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made the ending sad, I'm sorry. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. I didn't expect this story to gain much attention but all the comments and kudos fuel me.
> 
> I'll update In my darkest hour next before I continue with this one again.


End file.
